I was laying in bed, coloring app open, earbuds in, listening to Genesis. It's been my morning routine for about a year and a half now — wake up, grab my phone, color something pretty while Scripture plays in my ears. And somewhere in that routine, God decided to show me the real Hebrews 12:1 meaning. Not the version I'd been skimming past. The one that actually requires something of me.

And honestly? It's been good. I've been more faithful to the Word in the past eighteen months than maybe any other season of my life. So I justified it. The games, the staying in bed a little longer than necessary — it was fine because look at all this Bible I was consuming.

But that morning, a thought floated up. I'd been wishing I had more time to crochet. More time to paint. I'm halfway through a crocheted bedspread that I started a year ago — a project that was supposed to be done by now. And there I was, coloring digital pictures while my yarn sat untouched in the other room.

That's when I heard it. That still small voice.

You could get up. Make your coffee. Sit and crochet while you listen to Scripture. It's spring — you could go out on the deck. How relaxing would that be? And actually productive.

Ouch.

We quote Hebrews 12:1 all the time:

"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." — Hebrews 12:1 (KJV)

We focus on the sin part. We know what sin is. We can name it, confess it, repent of it.

But Paul doesn't just say sin. He says every weight AND the sin. Two different things.

So what's a weight?

A weight isn't necessarily sinful. It's not always wrong. But it slows you down. It takes up space that could be used for something better. It's the thing you keep justifying because it's not bad — but deep down, you know it's not helping you run the race either.

For me, last year, that weight was alcohol.

It wasn't a daily thing. Wasn't even weekly, really. Just something to wind down occasionally, a glass of wine with a nice dinner. Nothing dramatic. Nothing that would make anyone raise an eyebrow.

But the way it made me feel — foggy brain, low energy, a solid twenty-four hours of not being fully myself — I couldn't ignore it anymore. I was losing time. And Scripture tells us to redeem the time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16). I don't have a single minute to spare on something that's going to make me unproductive mentally and physically.

So I laid it down. Cold turkey. Walked away.

And you know what opened up? Clarity. No headaches. More cash in my bank account. Freedom I didn't even know I was missing.

But here's the thing about weights — you lay one down, and eventually another one shows up. Or maybe it was there all along and you just didn't see it yet.

For me, that next weight is my phone games. Coloring apps. Monopoly Go. Candy Crush. The mindless stuff I reach for when I want to zone out.

Now, I'm not a social media person. I don't scroll for hours. I told myself these games were fine — harmless, even — because I play them while listening to my Bible. See? Productive and relaxing. Best of both worlds.

Except I've also been complaining for a year that I don't have time to crochet. That I don't have time to paint. That I'm always behind on the projects I actually care about.

And that still small voice cut right through the justification.

You'd have time to crochet if you crocheted instead of playing those mindless games.

Well. There it is.

I'm not saying you can't ever relax. I'm not saying rest is bad or that every moment has to be optimized for productivity. That's hustle culture nonsense dressed in Christian clothes, and I don't believe it.

But you know the difference.

You know when something is rest — real, restorative, God-given rest — and when something is just a weight. A time-waster you keep justifying because it's easier than putting it down. A thing that isn't sinful but also isn't helping you run the race set before you.

So here I am. Taking off the mask. Laying down another weight.

What about you?

What's the weight you've been carrying that you know you shouldn't? Not the sin — you already know about that. The weight. The thing that's not technically wrong but is slowing you down. The thing that if you put it down, you could actually be more productive for the Kingdom.

Maybe it's time to lay it aside.

— Irene D.

Thanks for reading. If this encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with a friend who needs it too.

— Irene D.